No, this is not overdramatic

So, the other night I got a little surprise in my room (pictures to follow). After the incident was said and done, I decided my boss (who lives in a beautiful, huge house in the United States) needed to know about the conditions that we were being exposed to here in Nicaragua. The email I sent went a little something like this...

Hi John,

It's 1:45AM here in Nicaragua. Stacey and I are crawled up in little balls in the corner of our room. No, we're not going crazy like you previously thought, but in fact, we were just victimized in our own room. Yes, you guessed it, a GIANT, HAIRY, tarantula just made his little way into our cozy nest. Now, if it wasn't for my eagle eye happening to glance over towards the angelic, sleeping, innocent Stacey, we could have perhaps fallen victim during the night. But thanks to me (the co-hero in this story), we are alive.

After I spotted this monstrosity making his way down the wall closer and closer to Stacey's hot pink sheets, I gasped, rose from my bed, grabbed a shoe, and made my way towards the bed. Now I won't say I wasn't afraid, I can admit, I almost peed my pants. As I reached it and opened the bathroom door, the beast froze in place. Ever so carefully hidden behind the bedpost in a position where I could not end his life. At this point, I figured the next logical step would be to take Stacey out of harm's way. I woke her up, she was frightened, I comforted her, moved her quickly out of danger, where she proceeded to run from the room and collapse on the floor into a helpless pile of mush. I ran back to the scene and weighed my options with Stacey rendered useless to help.

Option 1: Make Stacey move the bed from the wall while I smack him dead with the shoe. Problem: I was afraid he'd run with the movement of the bed.

Option 2: Spray the terrorist with Raid. Problem: Raid cannot be located and may be ineffective.

Option 3: Get Manuel the "cuidador" to help us out. Problem: Manuel might as well be renamed Rip Van Winkle.

Option 4: Wake up Chris Dubas to help out the damsels in distress. Problem: He is Chris Dubas.

After moments of weighing the options, we decided to go with #1. When I finally coaxed Stacey back into the room and got her into 'bed-moving' position, I couldn't pull the trigger. I then sent Stacey for the Raid. She could not locate it in our immaculately organized kitchen. So, I left her to man the fort while I hunted down the Raid. Once Raid was fetched, I slowly crept back towards the antagonist. I extended my arm and sprayed with all my might. Option 2 was not the answer.

The villain fled. Fast. While I had him on the spotlight, he was very, very far under the bed. To the point of no return. While the brave, selfless Parkway Presbyterian missionaries slumbered, the options once again floated through my mind. At this point, we knew we needed to call for reinforcements, no white person was up to the task.

Enter knight in shining armor, standing at a whopping 5'2'', Manuel Pablo Fransisco Jose Rodriguez Saravilla Machado 'el matador' Lopez. Yes folks, he is our security guard. And secure he did. Within moments of being awoken from his no doubt 3-hour nap, he was at the scene of the crime and ready for action. Armed with no more than a 5'' reading flashlight he searched high and low. Removing knick-knacks, suitcases, articles of clothing, and multiple dust bunnies, he was determined that we would sleep tonight. But to our dismay, he found nothing. I insisted the hunt the continue.

While our hero was crawling under the beds, crack on display, I was doing a little investigation of my own. And to my horror, I found the assailant at the corner of my bed. I kept my cool and calmly said, 'Manuel, esta AQUI' Manuel hiked up his pants and was on his feet. He went after the monster with his bare hands when I handed him the shoe and said, 'matalo'. Manuel was very gentle at first tugging at the legs, it almost looked like he was going to show the killer mercy. That was where I had to step in again with a little more forceful, 'MATALO!' At that point he knew we weren't joking around. He raised his arm and in slow motion brought down the hammer on our living nightmare. And that was it.

After a few pictures and promises to gift our hero with cookies and other sorts of food items, he was on his way back to his napping chair. But not before he turned and said, 'You know, there are a ton of these running around out in front of the house."

And now ladies and gentlemen, we have come to the point of this email. There are a ton of these running around outside?!?!? Does this seem like a problem to anyone else??! Before anyone else is alienized in their own rooms by these intruders, I think something needs to be done about this little infestation!!! Now I don't know the exact procedure for ridding an area of these pests, but whatever it is, can we do it?? Immediately???

Please forward this on to Jenkins if you think he is the appropriate person to be contacted in this situation.

Take care,

Rachel (co-hero)

-- Rachel Elledge

Amigos for Christ

Bead Amigas Field Coordinator